People provide different kinds of support depending on your relationship, their life experience, personality and situation. A close friend may be there night and day. Other survivors who have experienced a similar tragedy know what trauma is like and can provide a special depth of understanding. Those who are less traumatized may be able to support in other ways, like helping with practical matters or keeping you company. No one person can give you all the support you may need. Everyone has their strengths and their limits. It is important not to judge someone’s ability to support you as you may not understand their particular limitations. A good balance is having several people to call on in different ways.
People who provide comfort, empathy, love, trust, caring, hope, or a listening ear.
- For example, a close friend reminds you of the qualities in you that will help you endure and recover from this challenge. They believe in you and are available to comfort you.
People who help with getting things done
- It is easy to get behind on household chores or paperwork when you have been under a lot of stress. For example, a friend offers to come over, do grocery shopping, and help clean up the kids’ room while you catch up on bills.
People who provide funds or services
- You may need help with bills or child care. A Victim Assistance Fund may provide funds for food, clothing, therapy or medical services; a social service agency may provide other services to get you through a difficult time; a family member can provide child or elder care, or give you a ride to the doctor.
People who can listen without judgment
- They provide a sounding board for you to talk out your thoughts and emotions, and help you find new ways to cope.
People who know what trauma is like
- Another survivor who has been through a similar experience understands in a special way. A trauma-trained therapist can offer skills and understanding to help you cope.
People who get you out to do things to boost your mood, distract you or just visit for a while.
- Old friends invite you to a cookout; your buddies ask you over to watch the game or play video games; you plan to watch a film together.
People who make you feel you belong
- For example, your faith community, sports or book club wants you to come back; a family dinner brings relatives together; a victim wellness or social activity feels meaningful just to be together; coworkers include you in a new project.
People who help you feel needed and valued
- It is important to have a purpose in life. For example, your family is hungry for their favorite recipe; a friend asks you for a favor; a young person asks you to help with a project; you help out in your faith community; coworkers welcome your input on a problem; you volunteer on a memorial event.
People who have important information or good advice
- Sometime you may not know what to do about a problem you are having. Supportive people can help you solve problems and find resources or know someone who can help. A relative may offer helpful advice. Your doctor may help you find a therapist. A Victim Service Professional can provide information on how to apply for compensation or court schedules. An attorney may help you appeal a denial of services. These knowledgeable individuals are valuable allies when you need guidance.