You may think differently than before about yourself and the world as you try to make sense of what happened. This is common. These new thoughts can be repetitive and intrude into everyday life or when you are trying to sleep. They can be hard to identify as they pass through your mind. If not managed properly, these thoughts can interfere with your problem-solving and ability to find ways to move forward in your recovery.
Check out this animation on how a mass violence event can change how the mind works.
Click on a thought for ideas on how to manage it.
It’s completely reasonable to have safety concerns after a violent event. Our brain can sometimes make us believe that a situation is more dangerous than it is. This can make you feel more afraid than necessary and be overly cautious in daily life. Examine the evidence you’ve collected throughout your life about how dangerous the world is and how capable you are of keeping yourself safe.
Are there other potential outcomes or possibilities? Yes. Although I feel anxious right now, I know I am safe because I am at home with my family. My brain is telling me I am anxious because I am still recovering from a traumatic event, but I am not actually in danger.
It’s natural to want to take some responsibility for making sure violent events don’t happen again. However, some survivors may unjustly blame themselves for what happened or think they caused it somehow. The guilt and self-directed anger caused by these thoughts can be difficult to tolerate. When considering who was responsible for the event, it’s important to consider intent. The person with the intent to harm others deserves the blame because they knew their actions would harm others — and they did it anyway.
Do I have evidence that I could have prevented this event? No. I had no way of knowing that a mass violence event was going to happen at the grocery store—there were no clues, and a grocery store is a very common place to visit and considered safe. Although it is normal to want to have prevented it, I know that there is nothing I could have done differently.
Mass violence can make you question whether you’ll find meaning and happiness in the future, especially if you experienced the death of a loved one. Sometimes these questions can cause feelings of hopelessness that make it difficult to move forward. It is normal to feel sadness following a mass violence event and/or the death of a loved one. However, with time and processing, these emotions tend to get smaller over time.
What would you tell a friend who had this same thought? I would tell my friend that there are still many things to look forward to in the future, such a [insert examples from your life]. I would help them make a list of things that make them happy and things to look forward to, even small things [do this for yourself—make a list]. I would remind them that one way to honor themselves, and/or the person that died, is to slowly start to work on living a full and meaningful life again.
Questions about fairness often arise after mass violence, with many people asking “why me/them?” and “what did I/they do to deserve this?” Thoughts related to fairness following a mass violence event are very common. However, these thoughts often cause confusion and anger. No one is deserving of mass violence, and these events unfortunately happen to innocent people. People choose to deal with thoughts about injustice in different ways. Some people choose to get involved in the justice process. Others gently let go of thoughts of injustice as they focus on helping themselves and others in their recovery.
Is this thought helpful? Although my anger and confusion are warranted, these emotions are not helpful. They do not make me feel better or help me progress in my recovery. Instead of focusing on my anger, I am going to start researching ways to get involved in mass violence justice programs in my area. The first step to doing this is [insert a small first step you can take towards your goal].
Mass violence is a major violation of trust. People generally trust that others will not harm them, and in almost all cases, this social expectation is upheld. As you work to reestablish trust, remind yourself of family, friends, colleagues, and other community members that you can trust and the ways that they have demonstrated their trustworthiness in the past. Start small and allow yourself to gradually reestablish trust with others. As you accumulate new experiences with trustworthy individuals, these will add to the evidence suggesting that you are safe with, and can trust, most people.
Do I have evidence that I cannot trust anyone? No, I do not have evidence that I cannot trust anyone. Although my trust has been violated, I know that I can trust my coworker Rachel, my sister Melissa, and my friend Robert [insert individuals from your life that you can trust]. These people are direct evidence against this thought.
The sudden and traumatic nature of mass violence causes a major stress reaction that is often paired with strong emotions such as sadness, fear, worry, and anger. In the weeks that follow, your emotions may come up in unexpected ways and feel like they are out of control. Although uncomfortable, strong emotions following mass violence are common. It will take some time for your body and mind to heal and that is normal.
Is this thought helpful? No, it is not helpful to think that I have no control over my emotions. I am healing and this process takes time. There are several things that I can do to take back control of my emotions more quickly, such as practicing the strategies in the “Trauma Reactions” and “Health and Wellness” sections.
Experiencing a violent event can cause the mind to become overly active. It may be difficult to think clearly and manage emotions. Learning to clear your mind can help you regain focus.
Simple slow breathing and a focus on the here and now begin to clear away thoughts of the past and future. Mindfulness of colors, sounds and sensations brings you back into the present and gives you a break from stressful thoughts.
A few minutes a day will improve your ability to clear your mind. At first the mind will continue to wander. Stick with it. Just notice the thoughts coming and going.
After you wake up or before bed are good times to practice. Do the exercise anytime during the day whenever you feel stressed.
The audio recordings below from Headspace can help you clear your mind. Try them all!
Walk to clear your mind
Take a Break
Relax and Unwind
Learn to notice and recognize unhelpful thoughts and look for more positive thoughts. Write down upsetting thoughts and come up with another way to think about the issue. To learn more about how to Manage Stressful Thoughts.
Getting involved in an activity that focuses your full attention can help let go of stressful thoughts. This could be sports, cooking, playing music, making art, helping others or any other activity that is part of your life.
Another way to deal with difficult thoughts is to not engage them at all. Most stressful thoughts have to do with what happened in the past or what might happen in the future. Instead of letting those thoughts fill your mind, turn your attention and awareness to wherever you are in the present moment. This is called Mindfulness. This may be as simple as taking a few long breaths or as long as following a 30 minute audiotape. You can become more skilled at turning your mind away with daily meditation practice of 10 or 20 minutes.
Learning to notice and recognize thoughts for what they are – just your thoughts – is a form of mindfulness as well. It can be helpful to notice your thoughts as separate from who you are as a person and watch them come and go without necessarily responding to them. Consider visualizing your thoughts written on a cloud and watch the cloud float by or visualizing your thoughts as credits on a movie screen moving up and away from your view. Notice your thoughts come and notice them go. This can take practice.
For more specifics on see Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness
Physical relaxation and slow breathing also tend to calm the mind. As your body and breath slow down, your mind gradually becomes more relaxed as well. Listen to Relax Your Body and Breathe to Relax to learn more about calming the mind by calming the body.
Male Voice
Female Voice
Find information on Trauma-Informed Mindfulness and Meditation here.