A traumatic event can leave you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Many people wish to rest and recover by themselves while they decide how to move forward. You may find inactivity is a relief from distress or that it gives you a sense of security. These reactions are expected and common in the beginning; however, as time passes, it is important to find a way to increase your activity levels and re-engage with the world. This may require you to fight strong urges to remain inactive and isolated from others. But doing so will pay off in the end. Typically, the less you do, the worse you will feel. And the worse you feel, the less you will do.
When are you feeling down, it can be difficult to take part in activities and be around others. This may cause you to miss out on important events and connection with others — which in turn, can worsen your mood. Having a daily routine and gently introducing structure back into your life can be helpful. In addition, taking part in meaningful activities is the best way to break the cycle of avoidance and low mood.
At first, it may be hard to increase your daily activities. You may not feel the same level of enjoyment as you did before. However, your usual self-care routines and daily tasks (even small ones) can give you back a sense of purpose and control — and give your mind a break from stressful thoughts.
You may think that sleeping a lot, staying home, or using drugs or alcohol will make you feel better. But these behaviors usually make things worse over time as they can create additional challenges on your path to recovery.
Changing your daily activities may be difficult and require a great deal of effort at first. You may not notice improvements in your mood right away. But increasing your activity level will pay off in the long run. So do your best to stick with it!
Not sure how to start incorporating more activities into your life? The list below has examples and can give you a place to start. Some activities can be used to improve your mood immediately, like going for a walk or talking to a friend. Other activities may be chosen because they are important to you.
Enjoyable activities are those that you do for fun. Sometimes it can be hard to remember things that you enjoy or find fun. That is normal and OK. Think back to things that you previously enjoyed. Or things that you think you may enjoy. Here are some examples:
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Spending time with friends and family
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Reading a book or writing about your life
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A hobby (playing an instrument, cooking, building, sports)
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A relaxing bath
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Creative projects like carpentry, painting, sewing
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Window shopping
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Biking, going for a walk outside
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Playing a game alone or with friends
Mastery-focused activities are those that make you feel satisfied and accomplished and can involve skill development. Sometimes these can be tasks for yourself and others, and sometimes these activities can include long-term goals. When done in moderation, and in combination with enjoyable activities, mastery-focused activities often improve the way we feel about ourselves and our environment. Here are some examples:
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Scheduling and attending doctor’s appointments
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Grocery shopping
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Learning a new skill
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Paying bills
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Working towards a career or education-related goal
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Taking care of home (laundry, cleaning) or children
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Starting a home project
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What activities could you do daily, even if just for 15 minutes?
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What could you do around your house to create a more comfortable environment?
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What hobbies or sports did you used to enjoy? Are there any hobbies or sports you’ve wanted to try?
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Are you a part of any social groups? Are there any groups you could join? If so—make a plan to participate.
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Are there any spiritual or religious activities you could tap into or become involved in?
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What upcoming events in your community could you attend? Check your local newspaper or online for neighborhood announcements.
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Are there any places that you like to go to relax? Is there a lake or shore nearby? A public garden in the area? A coffee shop?
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Sometimes it’s just getting out and moving. You could go for a walk or a drive.
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Is there something that you could do to be helpful or kind to others? It doesn’t have to be an organized volunteer event.
Get started now!
Let’s get specific about planning for and scheduling activities into your day. The three steps below will help you come up with ways to get movement into your routine.
Use the Boosting Your Mood Worksheet to help guide you through creating an activity plan for yourself. You can download and print this worksheet, or feel free to use it as a guide to make your own worksheet.
Begin by brainstorming activities that could be relaxing or help connect you with others. Try to think of several. Even if an activity feels very small, or impossible to do, write it down.
List these activities under “Step 1.” We recommend at least five to get you started.
Which activities could you do this week? Of the activities you’ve listed, select the ones you could do this week and circle those.
You can’t do it all at once. It’s okay to save some of these activities for the future. The most important thing is that you chose activities that will be possible for you to do in the immediate future. Consider:
1. Your schedule this week—what do you have time for?
2. Do you have a plan in place or the materials needed to make this activity happen?
We recommend that you schedule a time to complete each of the activities you’ve selected for the week. Make a commitment now by writing them down on your calendar or in your phone.
As time goes on, you can add new activities or mark activities as complete any time. Save your list and return to it anytime.
Here are some common obstacles to engaging in daily activities. A variety of things can hinder motivation and make taking part in daily activities more difficult.
Do any of the statements below ring true to you?
People never expect an event like this could happen to them, so rarely do they consider how it could affect future plans. As a result, when a mass violent event occurs, it can make you question whether you’ll find meaning and happiness in the future. A “hopeless” way of thinking can be paralyzing and make you feel stuck. As you combat hopelessness, consider how you can continue to pursue the things that matter most to you, even though it may not be exactly as you had planned. What actions can you take now that would be meaningful to you and your loved ones?
You may feel guilty for experiencing happiness or joy when others are in pain or you have lost a loved one. Positive emotions can be confusing after a devastating event. However, it's important to allow yourself to experience some positive emotions, as this can helps balance out strong negative emotions that may be causing you distress. Avoiding positive experiences will only make it more difficult to boost your mood and find motivation to move forward.
This is a particularly difficult and painful barrier, but it is still important to find ways to connect with others. Are there other social supports in your social network that you can reach out to make new connections? Reaching out to others and engaging in activities that you value are important steps in rebuilding your life. Make sure to visit the “Social Connection” section of the resiliency center to find out more ways to increase your social connection.
Some people think they will become more active when they feel better. In fact, the reverse is true. Being more active actually makes you feel better.
Though it may not feel like it at first, doing positive or meaningful activities will help over time, even if they aren’t enjoyable at first. If you’re feeling frustrated or unmotivated, try switching the type of activity. Don’t feel like going outside? What could you do around the house that will help you create a calming and comfortable environment?
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Are there other potential outcomes or possibilities? Yes. Although I feel anxious right now, I know I am safe because I am at home with my family. My brain is telling me I am anxious because I am still recovering from a traumatic event, but I am not actually in danger.
If you are having difficulty with financial or legal issues related to the mass violence event, explore the Social & Human Services section of this site.
Sometimes it is helpful to seek professional guidance on ways to improve our mood. If you are struggling to incorporate this guidance, or you feel like it is not working, it may be time to seek professional help. Please visit the Help Now/Resources section for more information and how to get connected with a professional in your area.